By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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