You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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