her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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