I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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