Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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