I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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