I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
