we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
