The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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