Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
