I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
