so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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