The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
