Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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