can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry about my life...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
