I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
