Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
