I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
