i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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