and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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