I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
