I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
