My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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