Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize