Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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