Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
