Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
