If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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