I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Houston, we have a blender
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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