she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
