he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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