If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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