is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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