i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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