He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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