38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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