absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
