Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
