Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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