it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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