It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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