Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
