I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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