yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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