And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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