I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
