please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
