Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
