community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
