Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
