im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
