Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
