I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
