i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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