She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
